1 00:00:15,916 --> 00:00:16,717 Good morning. 2 00:00:16,817 --> 00:00:18,052 WOMAN: Good morning. Hey. 3 00:00:19,153 --> 00:00:21,089 All right, everybody, listen up. 4 00:00:21,189 --> 00:00:24,758 As of about... one minute ago, 5 00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:28,262 the sanitation workers union rejected our final offer. 6 00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,098 They are now officially on strike. 7 00:00:30,198 --> 00:00:31,799 It's happening? 8 00:00:31,899 --> 00:00:33,901 So let's... let's start looking into alternative dumpsites, all right? 9 00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:35,603 Vacant lots, barges... 10 00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:37,438 New Jersey. 11 00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,108 This strike could drag on for days, weeks. 12 00:00:40,208 --> 00:00:41,642 Maybe even months. 13 00:00:41,742 --> 00:00:44,312 Mike, I need something to tell the press. They're killing me. 14 00:00:44,412 --> 00:00:46,914 The strike's over, Paul, finished. 15 00:00:47,014 --> 00:00:48,949 Really? Oh, yeah. 16 00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:53,421 (EVERYONE SPEAKS AT ONCE) 17 00:00:53,521 --> 00:00:55,289 You're not lying to me, are you? 18 00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:58,792 I would be disappointed if this whole thing wasn't settled by this afternoon. 19 00:01:00,128 --> 00:01:01,162 God, I love this job. 20 00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:05,899 Okay, that's only going to buy us a couple hours, 21 00:01:05,999 --> 00:01:07,901 But I'm not debating this thing in the press. 22 00:01:08,001 --> 00:01:09,403 It's only going to hurt negotiations. 23 00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:10,604 Now, you all know the rules. 24 00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:12,840 Anybody who tells Paul the truth, 25 00:01:12,940 --> 00:01:15,008 puts ten bucks in the kitty. 26 00:01:16,344 --> 00:01:17,678 It's going to be a long day, people. 27 00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:19,513 We got garbage in the streets. 28 00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:22,383 We got a weather report calling for temperatures in the mid-90s with no breeze. 29 00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:26,220 By 11 o'clock, the city's going to smell like a giant foot. 30 00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:28,689 People are going to be hurling themselves into the East River, 31 00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:32,160 and we all know who everybody's going to blame, don't we? 32 00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:35,163 Good morning, everyone! 33 00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:36,497 Hey, Flaherty, how's our city? 34 00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:37,698 Oh, couldn't be better, sir. 35 00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:39,167 That's what I like to hear. 36 00:01:39,833 --> 00:01:42,603 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 37 00:01:53,714 --> 00:01:55,483 The Mayor is not happy. 38 00:01:55,583 --> 00:01:56,717 Sorry to hear about that. How you doing? 39 00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:58,186 I'm okay. Let me see my own schedule. 40 00:01:58,219 --> 00:02:00,188 Why? You're not going to have time for any of it. 41 00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:02,856 No. No. No. No. No. No. 42 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:05,193 You gave me six nos. There's only five things on the list. 43 00:02:05,259 --> 00:02:06,194 That last no, that's for you. 44 00:02:06,260 --> 00:02:07,928 You can use that however you want. 45 00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:09,930 Karen. Yes, Mr. Flaherty? 46 00:02:10,030 --> 00:02:12,500 I need you to get a Mr. Sabatino on the phone. 47 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:14,067 He's the head of the sanitation workers union... 48 00:02:14,202 --> 00:02:16,337 Mmm-hmm. ...and he doesn't want to talk to us, 49 00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:19,373 so you're gonna have to do me a favor, okay? 50 00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:24,778 You know how, no matter what happens, You're always so cheerful, 51 00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:27,114 it just makes us all want to stab you through the heart? 52 00:02:28,249 --> 00:02:29,250 Uh-huh. 53 00:02:30,117 --> 00:02:31,785 That's not going to work on Mr. Sabatino, 54 00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:33,921 so you got to do me a favor, all right? 55 00:02:34,021 --> 00:02:37,124 You got to intimidate this guy, all right? 56 00:02:37,225 --> 00:02:39,327 Tap into your darker side, 57 00:02:39,427 --> 00:02:41,329 that angry corner of your soul 58 00:02:41,429 --> 00:02:43,331 where violence reigns 59 00:02:43,431 --> 00:02:44,898 and terror cracks the whip. 60 00:02:45,633 --> 00:02:46,934 Okey-dokey. 61 00:02:49,136 --> 00:02:52,240 It was just a run-of-the-mill orgasm. I didn't mean to scare you. 62 00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:55,843 Could you hold a second, Mom? 63 00:02:57,611 --> 00:02:59,480 I worked up some new numbers for you, Mike. 64 00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:00,614 Talk to me, Nikki. 65 00:03:00,714 --> 00:03:02,082 We're not there yet. 66 00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:03,417 I mean, forget the health insurance and the pension plans. 67 00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:04,685 We can't even come close to 68 00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:07,355 what these sanitation workers are asking for. 69 00:03:07,455 --> 00:03:09,257 Give it another pass. All right, 70 00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:11,259 but I wouldn't be optimistic. 71 00:03:13,261 --> 00:03:15,796 Oh, I'll... I'll let you get back to your mom. 72 00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:18,766 Before she loses her erection. 73 00:03:21,168 --> 00:03:23,471 (IMPERCEPTIBLE) 74 00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:26,006 So, yes, we do hope that New Yorkers will continue 75 00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:30,444 to bag and dispose of their garbage in the usual manner. 76 00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:31,545 Any other questions? 77 00:03:31,645 --> 00:03:34,147 Anybody have any questions? 78 00:03:34,282 --> 00:03:37,184 Any questions at all? Anybody? Anybody? 79 00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:39,620 Yes, Ashley? 80 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,188 So, am I to understand that you actually believe 81 00:03:41,289 --> 00:03:43,824 that garbage pickup will resume tomorrow morning? Yes. 82 00:03:45,092 --> 00:03:46,126 Yes. 83 00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:48,729 With all my heart. 84 00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:52,433 That's interesting, because I spoke to Mr. Sabatino 85 00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:54,034 about 15 minutes ago, 86 00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:56,937 and... and I asked him how long he thought the strike might last, 87 00:03:57,037 --> 00:03:58,406 and he said, and I quote, 88 00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:00,341 "How long you got?" 89 00:04:08,416 --> 00:04:10,318 It's not good. No. 90 00:04:11,218 --> 00:04:12,686 Why are you beating up on Paul? 91 00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:14,455 Guy's just doing his job. 92 00:04:14,555 --> 00:04:15,689 I don't blame Paul. 93 00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:17,525 I know who has his hand inside the puppet. 94 00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:21,829 Why, thank you. That's a lovely image. 95 00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:23,130 Got any more questions? 96 00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:24,632 Yeah, I mean, what do you hope to gain by this? 97 00:04:24,732 --> 00:04:27,100 It's a strike. It's not like people aren't going to notice. 98 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:30,037 Why can't you just say no progress has been made? 99 00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:31,138 'Cause the second I do that, 100 00:04:31,238 --> 00:04:33,341 you'd make it out to be the Mayor's fault. 101 00:04:33,374 --> 00:04:34,908 Oh, so it's not the Mayor's fault? 102 00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:36,344 I'll just write the story, uh, 103 00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:39,347 "Garbage unreasonable, refuses to be taken away." 104 00:04:39,447 --> 00:04:41,982 Why do you people always focus on the negative? 105 00:04:42,082 --> 00:04:43,584 Mike, the city of New York generates more garbage 106 00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:45,386 than any other city in the world. 107 00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:48,155 We're number one. 108 00:04:48,255 --> 00:04:51,224 That's great. When we came in, we were number three. 109 00:04:51,359 --> 00:04:53,827 Whatever. You're the one who has to sleep at night. 110 00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:55,396 That's right. 111 00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:56,997 Okay, then. Okay. 112 00:04:57,097 --> 00:04:58,666 See you tonight? My place? 113 00:04:58,766 --> 00:05:00,368 No problem. 114 00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:04,538 All right, the Mayor prepared to speak about the strike, James? 115 00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:05,639 I worked on it all night, Mike. 116 00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:08,041 I have six pages of spontaneous remarks. 117 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,277 You know, Mike, if I were deputy mayor, 118 00:05:10,378 --> 00:05:12,245 there never would have been a garbage strike. 119 00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:13,847 Stuart, I'm sure there are 100 reasons 120 00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:15,383 why you think you deserve my job. 121 00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:17,751 Oh, good! You read my manifesto. 122 00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:20,087 (OVER TV) REPORTERS: Sir? Mr. Mayor? 123 00:05:20,187 --> 00:05:21,489 REPORTER: Any comments on the strike, sir? 124 00:05:21,589 --> 00:05:23,256 "I don't think we need to be overly concerned." 125 00:05:23,391 --> 00:05:25,726 MAYOR: I don't think we need to be overly concerned. 126 00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:27,094 "We all want this settled quickly." 127 00:05:27,194 --> 00:05:29,563 We all want this settled quickly. Besides... 128 00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:31,031 Eighty-eight percent. 129 00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:32,866 Good God, Eighty-eight percent! Eighty-eight percent of... 130 00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:34,402 ...88% of all major 131 00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:37,270 union strikes end in less than 48 hours, 132 00:05:37,405 --> 00:05:39,840 so this shouldn't drag on. Thank you. 133 00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:41,475 And there's your sound bite. 134 00:05:41,575 --> 00:05:43,711 All right. We're golden. 135 00:05:43,811 --> 00:05:45,278 REPORTER: (OVER TV) Mr. Mayor, would you consider marching 136 00:05:45,413 --> 00:05:46,747 in the gay pride parade this week? 137 00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:48,115 What are you, drunk? 138 00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:06,133 What was that? 139 00:06:07,835 --> 00:06:09,169 I didn't write that, Mike. 140 00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:11,772 Oh, great. There go all our free show tickets. 141 00:06:13,641 --> 00:06:17,144 All right. It's out there. He said it. Now what? 142 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:18,779 I tell you, if we have 143 00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:19,880 one gay person on the staff, 144 00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:21,615 this whole thing goes away. 145 00:06:23,451 --> 00:06:24,752 Everybody stop. 146 00:06:30,658 --> 00:06:32,259 I need a gay person. 147 00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:35,228 Huh? 148 00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:38,231 Who in this room is gay? 149 00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:43,170 Not that kind of gay. 150 00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:47,608 Oh, come on. 151 00:06:47,708 --> 00:06:50,210 You telling me nobody is even leaning that way? 152 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:52,179 Do threesomes count? 153 00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:57,718 Nobody even had a gay fling? 154 00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:00,754 Nobody here went to camp? 155 00:07:08,896 --> 00:07:09,930 James? 156 00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:13,601 Why are you asking me? 157 00:07:13,701 --> 00:07:15,202 All righty, people. 158 00:07:15,302 --> 00:07:17,905 I assume you all get television. 159 00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:20,207 I'd like to get a jump-start on our new problem. 160 00:07:20,307 --> 00:07:22,510 All right, Paul, we're in great shape. We are? 161 00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:24,512 Oh, sure. We're an open administration. 162 00:07:24,612 --> 00:07:26,780 We even have prominent gay personnel 163 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:27,848 on our staff. 164 00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:29,282 We do? Who? 165 00:07:30,818 --> 00:07:31,819 James. 166 00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:35,656 Oh, yeah. 167 00:07:43,531 --> 00:07:45,799 (TELEVISION PLAYING INDISTINCTLY) 168 00:07:45,899 --> 00:07:46,967 Eleven o'clock. 169 00:07:48,201 --> 00:07:49,369 Workday is over. 170 00:07:49,537 --> 00:07:51,004 Well, you're not listening to me. 171 00:07:51,104 --> 00:07:52,673 That's not the Mayor's position. 172 00:07:54,742 --> 00:07:56,376 I got to go. 173 00:07:57,845 --> 00:07:59,146 What do you want to do? 174 00:07:59,246 --> 00:08:00,881 Oh, I don't know. 175 00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:09,723 What do you want to do? 176 00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,091 We could rent a movie. 177 00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:12,693 Nah. I don't want to. 178 00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:14,027 We could read. 179 00:08:14,562 --> 00:08:15,596 No. 180 00:08:16,564 --> 00:08:17,665 We could play Boggle. 181 00:08:17,765 --> 00:08:20,868 That's it. I want to play Boggle. 182 00:08:21,569 --> 00:08:22,570 (TELEPHONE RINGS) 183 00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:24,404 (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS) 184 00:08:24,572 --> 00:08:25,839 (OVER SPEAKER) Hey, Mike, this is Paul. 185 00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:28,576 Listen, we're really getting beat up on this parade thing. 186 00:08:28,676 --> 00:08:31,178 It might be a good idea maybe to have James in there in the morning, 187 00:08:31,278 --> 00:08:32,245 answer some questions. All right. 188 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,347 Get back to me. I'll see you. 189 00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:37,117 Have James there to answer questions about what? 190 00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:38,619 Off the record? 191 00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:41,254 What it's like to be a gay man in the Mayor's office. 192 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,123 Since when is James gay? 193 00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:44,725 Since about 5:15. 194 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:47,961 (TELEPHONE RINGS) 195 00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:49,262 (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS) 196 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:50,598 (OVER SPEAKER) Mike, it's Stuart. 197 00:08:50,664 --> 00:08:52,365 Sabatino turned our offer down. 198 00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:53,867 I've rounded everybody up. 199 00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:56,436 We're on our way over. Be there in three minutes. 200 00:08:58,138 --> 00:08:59,372 Can we do it? 201 00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:01,074 Well, I could. 202 00:09:03,911 --> 00:09:05,245 (GRUNTS) 203 00:09:05,345 --> 00:09:08,682 I hate to say this, but this could turn into an all-nighter. 204 00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:10,283 Oh, great. That's just what I need. 205 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:13,053 You know, I got a big day tomorrow. I got to be up at 6:00. 206 00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:16,023 Maybe you should just crash at your place tonight. 207 00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:17,224 No. I can't. 208 00:09:17,324 --> 00:09:18,491 Why not? 209 00:09:18,626 --> 00:09:20,127 I don't have one. 210 00:09:20,828 --> 00:09:21,929 What? 211 00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:23,496 My lease, it ran out a few weeks ago, 212 00:09:23,631 --> 00:09:25,933 and I didn't bother renewing it. 213 00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:28,235 Oh. So, then, uh... 214 00:09:29,970 --> 00:09:31,538 ...we live together. 215 00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:36,644 Well, yeah, I guess. 216 00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:39,212 I feel I should have been told. 217 00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:42,650 We already live together. 218 00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:44,084 I mean, it's not like I snuck into your apartment. 219 00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:46,720 I've been sleeping here every night for a year and a half. 220 00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:48,689 As a guest. 221 00:09:49,657 --> 00:09:51,558 Oh, as a guest? Really? 222 00:09:51,659 --> 00:09:53,694 Look at that picture over there, Mike. 223 00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:57,064 Oh, my God. 224 00:09:58,666 --> 00:10:00,500 Those aren't my parents. 225 00:10:04,237 --> 00:10:05,205 They're my parents. 226 00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:06,807 Who did you think they were? 227 00:10:07,775 --> 00:10:09,677 I thought they came with the frame. 228 00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:13,781 That's my dresser, too. 229 00:10:13,881 --> 00:10:15,783 All right. okay. Well, listen, honey, 230 00:10:15,883 --> 00:10:18,218 a photo and a dresser doesn't... 231 00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:19,552 Couch. 232 00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:23,390 Coffee table. Television. 233 00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:24,892 Okay. 234 00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:26,526 The dog. 235 00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:31,665 Not Rex. 236 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:35,703 You do live here. 237 00:10:35,803 --> 00:10:36,804 Uh-huh. 238 00:10:39,206 --> 00:10:40,808 Where do I live? 239 00:10:42,776 --> 00:10:45,178 I... I can't believe this is such a big deal to you. 240 00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:47,180 I mean, we eat together. We sleep together. 241 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,149 We vacation together. 242 00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:50,250 Mike, we're each other's 243 00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:52,886 "In case of emergency, please notify" person. 244 00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:58,759 I can't breathe. 245 00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:03,263 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 246 00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:05,866 You might want to notify yourself. 247 00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:14,775 MAYOR: (OVER TV) What are you, drunk? 248 00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:21,481 MAYOR: What's in the journal? 249 00:11:21,581 --> 00:11:23,583 "Sanitation strike cripples city." 250 00:11:23,751 --> 00:11:25,452 What about the news? 251 00:11:25,552 --> 00:11:27,788 "Mayor snubs gay community." (GASPS) 252 00:11:27,888 --> 00:11:30,223 Anything in the Post? 253 00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:33,293 "Family dog drives heart attack victim to hospital..." 254 00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:34,995 (SMACKS LIPS) 255 00:11:35,095 --> 00:11:37,097 "...as Mayor snubs gay community." 256 00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:39,266 I love the Post. 257 00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,769 Here are your remarks for the dedication, sir. 258 00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:43,871 "Proud to be here. 259 00:11:43,971 --> 00:11:45,906 "Proud of a community on the rise." 260 00:11:46,006 --> 00:11:46,774 Mmm-hmm. 261 00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:48,108 Basically, you're just... 262 00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,442 you're very... 263 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,144 very proud. 264 00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:53,781 You look terrible, Flaherty. 265 00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:56,149 We were up all night working on this thing. 266 00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:58,051 Mmm. Ashley... 267 00:11:58,651 --> 00:11:59,619 Forget I said that, okay? 268 00:11:59,787 --> 00:12:01,554 I don't want to bother you. 269 00:12:01,654 --> 00:12:04,491 No bother. Romantic problems are, uh... 270 00:12:05,325 --> 00:12:06,393 right up my alley. 271 00:12:08,095 --> 00:12:10,998 I did a little bird-dogging in my day. 272 00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:14,601 Let's hear it. 273 00:12:14,701 --> 00:12:16,636 All right, uh... well, the thing is, Ashley feels... 274 00:12:16,804 --> 00:12:18,071 You know what you do? 275 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,909 Send her to a spa. 276 00:12:22,009 --> 00:12:25,412 All is forgiven in the 100-degree mud. 277 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:30,050 Or if that doesn't work, you name a street after her... 278 00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:31,318 or a park. 279 00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:33,954 They love parks. 280 00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:37,324 Those are three... 281 00:12:38,725 --> 00:12:41,028 ...really good suggestions, sir. 282 00:12:47,634 --> 00:12:48,836 Hey. 283 00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:50,470 Hey. 284 00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:52,873 You've been avoiding me all morning. 285 00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:56,043 I think we need to talk. Don't you? 286 00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:58,378 I think that everything that needed to be said was said. 287 00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:00,113 I don't know about that. 288 00:13:00,213 --> 00:13:03,050 You dropped a bomb on me last night. 289 00:13:03,150 --> 00:13:04,584 I got a feeling you didn't get the reaction 290 00:13:04,684 --> 00:13:05,853 you were looking for. 291 00:13:05,953 --> 00:13:07,487 No, not at all. I find hysterical paralysis 292 00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:09,156 very reassuring. 293 00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:13,160 I just don't see what the big problem is. 294 00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:16,463 All we have to do is get your old place back. 295 00:13:16,563 --> 00:13:19,867 Mike, will you tell me why my apartment is so important to you? 296 00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:22,102 Us. Important to us. 297 00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:25,873 It's our safety net. 298 00:13:25,973 --> 00:13:28,942 It's a $900-a-month empty room that allows you to delude yourself 299 00:13:29,042 --> 00:13:30,944 into thinking that you haven't made a commitment. 300 00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:34,347 Well... if it does all that... 301 00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:38,351 ...and it's only 900 bucks... 302 00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:40,553 (SIGHS) 303 00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:42,622 All right. All right, look. 304 00:13:42,722 --> 00:13:46,226 You said commitment, and, uh... 305 00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:48,929 and I got a little crazy, okay? 306 00:13:49,029 --> 00:13:51,932 I admit that, but I know what you're saying, 307 00:13:52,032 --> 00:13:53,666 and you're right, 308 00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:55,903 so let's go ahead. 309 00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:57,170 Let's do it. 310 00:13:58,771 --> 00:14:00,273 We live together. 311 00:14:04,811 --> 00:14:06,146 Just like that. 312 00:14:06,246 --> 00:14:07,347 Yeah. 313 00:14:10,918 --> 00:14:12,185 Isn't it great? 314 00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:17,224 I don't think so, Mike. (SIGHS) 315 00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:18,825 Now I'm really confused. 316 00:14:18,926 --> 00:14:20,160 Well, I'm confused, too. 317 00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:21,328 I mean, this is hard. You know? 318 00:14:21,428 --> 00:14:24,031 I think we should just take some time off. 319 00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:27,734 Would you like to go to a spa? 320 00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:31,404 Look, I'm sure with work, 321 00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:32,839 we'll see each other all the time. 322 00:14:32,940 --> 00:14:34,607 You know, I think we should just, 323 00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:37,410 keep the rest of our relationship platonic for a while. 324 00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:38,478 Oh, I see. Okay. 325 00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:42,182 Just keep exactly what we have now. 326 00:14:42,282 --> 00:14:43,550 Just... 327 00:14:43,650 --> 00:14:44,717 without the sex. 328 00:14:47,154 --> 00:14:49,089 I'm gonna have to vote no on that. 329 00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:54,461 You know what? I really care about you, Michael. I do. 330 00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:57,230 I love you, but... I ask for an honest reaction, 331 00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:58,999 you know, and all I get is a joke. 332 00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:00,167 I love you, too, honey. 333 00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:02,235 We're just different. That's all, 334 00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:04,637 but, you know, hey, hey, different is good. 335 00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:07,274 You know, that's why it's great that we're together, 336 00:15:07,374 --> 00:15:10,810 because I think we need people like you 337 00:15:10,978 --> 00:15:13,080 to keep people like me in check, 338 00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:15,748 and I think that we need people like me 339 00:15:15,848 --> 00:15:18,318 to keep people like you from overthinking things. 340 00:15:19,987 --> 00:15:21,989 And I think that... that people... 341 00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:26,759 ...who need people... 342 00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:32,465 ...the luckiest people in the world. 343 00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:38,805 See, we're different. I would have laughed at that. 344 00:15:39,906 --> 00:15:41,541 Michael, as per your request, 345 00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:45,012 I have scheduled a press conference this afternoon at 5 o'clock 346 00:15:45,112 --> 00:15:47,147 to introduce a key member of our staff, 347 00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:50,017 who also happens to be homosexual, 348 00:15:50,117 --> 00:15:51,851 but guess what, Mike? 349 00:15:52,019 --> 00:15:54,754 James here says that he's not gay. 350 00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:56,223 Ten bucks in the kitty, James. 351 00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:58,025 I can't take this anymore, Mike. 352 00:15:58,091 --> 00:15:59,192 I can't take it. 353 00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,394 I don't know what's real and what's not. 354 00:16:01,494 --> 00:16:04,031 I don't know day from night, good from evil. 355 00:16:04,064 --> 00:16:05,898 I'm lost. I'm lost. I'm lost. 356 00:16:07,934 --> 00:16:09,302 Don't melt down on me, Paul. 357 00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:12,272 Not today, okay? I need you. 358 00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:14,341 This is a very emotional time. 359 00:16:15,542 --> 00:16:18,545 James being gay surprised all of us. 360 00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:21,048 Especially James. 361 00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:23,416 Come on, Paulie. For me? 362 00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:25,618 All right, all right, all right. 363 00:16:27,054 --> 00:16:28,388 All right, look. If we're going to go through 364 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,657 with your charade of a press conference, 365 00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:32,059 we may as well take a couple of minutes, 366 00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:34,094 go over the sort of questions you're going to get asked. 367 00:16:34,194 --> 00:16:35,862 Is it really going to be that big a deal? 368 00:16:37,064 --> 00:16:38,965 I mean, it's not like it's front-page stuff. 369 00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:40,300 Is it? 370 00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:43,770 You might want to call your parents. 371 00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:52,545 Uh, Janelle, I'd like you to get Ashley... Schaeffer 372 00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:54,414 on the phone for me, please. 373 00:16:57,317 --> 00:16:58,751 What? 374 00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:02,522 This is getting ridiculous. You've tried 23 times. 375 00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:04,524 I don't care. 376 00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:06,893 I don't feel like an idiot. 377 00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:11,598 You're not the one making the calls. 378 00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:15,568 Hey, Mike. Mike, get over here. 379 00:17:15,668 --> 00:17:17,104 This guy's killing us. 380 00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:20,507 No. This wasn't just a slight to the gay community. 381 00:17:20,607 --> 00:17:22,375 We consider it to be symptomatic 382 00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:25,178 of a hostile and repressive administration. 383 00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:27,914 And until we see significant changes, 384 00:17:28,014 --> 00:17:30,650 we are going to harass and haunt the Mayor at every turn. 385 00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:32,852 We are going to make his life miserable 386 00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:34,154 over the next four years 387 00:17:34,254 --> 00:17:35,222 and make sure there aren't 388 00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:37,557 four years after that. 389 00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:39,592 Now, what do you people have to say about that? 390 00:17:40,227 --> 00:17:41,894 What can I say? 391 00:17:41,994 --> 00:17:44,897 You're hired! I love this guy. Get him a desk. 392 00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:46,399 Mike, Mike... 393 00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:48,135 Uh, listen. 394 00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:50,637 You know I'd do anything for you. 395 00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:52,772 I would. 396 00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:55,642 And so when you asked me to be gay for you... 397 00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:00,647 ...I gave it a lot of thought, and, uh... 398 00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:03,783 Let me say first off how honored I am that you chose me. 399 00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:07,154 James, James... relax, okay? 400 00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:08,788 You're not gay anymore. 401 00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:13,593 "Hostile and repressive." 402 00:18:13,693 --> 00:18:15,262 That's good. That's a good line. 403 00:18:15,362 --> 00:18:18,398 I thought "Backward and medieval" was pretty good, too. 404 00:18:18,498 --> 00:18:20,967 "Morally stunted and Machiavellian." 405 00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:24,171 Look, it's very easy to stand outside throwing rocks. 406 00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:27,440 But please, do not have the unmitigated audacity... 407 00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:28,875 Two very big words... 408 00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:32,912 ...to question what I believe in, okay? 409 00:18:33,012 --> 00:18:34,381 I'm offering you a chance to come in, 410 00:18:34,481 --> 00:18:36,949 sit down at the table, and make policy. 411 00:18:37,049 --> 00:18:39,819 This... this is the opportunity of a lifetime. 412 00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:43,089 If I act now, do I get a free set of steak knives? 413 00:18:44,257 --> 00:18:46,393 The Mayor made a mistake. 414 00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:47,760 I admit that. 415 00:18:48,395 --> 00:18:49,562 But what do you want to do? 416 00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:50,630 Do you want to stay out there 417 00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:52,565 and bitch about a parade, 418 00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:55,335 or do you want to come in and make a difference? 419 00:18:56,703 --> 00:18:58,238 You won't be able to control me. 420 00:18:58,638 --> 00:18:59,972 You know that. 421 00:19:01,608 --> 00:19:02,675 How we doing in here? 422 00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:04,211 Mr. Mayor, perfect timing as usual. 423 00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:06,546 I think we're pretty close to making a decision. 424 00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:07,714 Mr. Mayor... Yes. 425 00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:08,748 ...thank you for asking me 426 00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:10,283 to be a part of this administration. 427 00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:11,518 I accept... Oh. 428 00:19:11,618 --> 00:19:12,852 ...and I promise you, as long as you're in office, 429 00:19:12,952 --> 00:19:15,021 I'm going to be your worst nightmare. 430 00:19:15,722 --> 00:19:16,889 Mike, is that good? 431 00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:20,327 It's good. 432 00:19:20,427 --> 00:19:22,061 Splendid! Welcome aboard. 433 00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:26,433 MAN: Good night, good night. WOMAN: Good night. 434 00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:28,134 We're meeting Carter for a beer to celebrate. 435 00:19:28,235 --> 00:19:29,236 You want to join us? 436 00:19:29,269 --> 00:19:30,970 Uh, no, I don't think so. All right. 437 00:19:32,539 --> 00:19:34,741 We're meeting at Houlihan's, right? 438 00:19:35,942 --> 00:19:37,076 Yes. 439 00:19:37,244 --> 00:19:39,579 Really? 'Cause I went there the other night, 440 00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:41,147 and none of you guys showed. 441 00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:43,750 Imagine that. 442 00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:48,821 Can I talk to you for a second? 443 00:19:49,456 --> 00:19:50,690 Yeah. 444 00:19:52,259 --> 00:19:53,626 Talk. 445 00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:55,762 Okay, I thought that part was going to take a lot longer, 446 00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:58,265 so I'm not really prepared... Oh, to hell with it. 447 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:01,734 Okay, uh... 448 00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:03,336 Here goes. 449 00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:09,108 (EXHALES) 450 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,811 Are you done? Because that was very moving. 451 00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:14,681 Would it make any difference to you 452 00:20:14,781 --> 00:20:18,451 if I gave up my own apartment? 453 00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,019 I don't know what good that would do, 454 00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:22,622 seeing that neither one of us would have a place to live then. 455 00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:25,825 Okay, 'cause I sublet my apartment this afternoon. 456 00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:27,827 Needless to say, I was hoping 457 00:20:27,927 --> 00:20:29,929 for a completely different answer. 458 00:20:31,097 --> 00:20:32,699 I just... 459 00:20:32,799 --> 00:20:37,003 figured that if... we're going to do this for real... 460 00:20:39,005 --> 00:20:40,840 ...we should have a fresh start. 461 00:20:42,942 --> 00:20:44,877 You sure about this, Mike? 462 00:20:44,977 --> 00:20:47,480 Maybe I didn't know what all this meant, 463 00:20:48,114 --> 00:20:49,215 but I do now. 464 00:20:50,717 --> 00:20:52,652 I really... 465 00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:54,887 really want us to live together. 466 00:20:56,122 --> 00:20:57,123 No nets? 467 00:20:58,525 --> 00:20:59,959 I live for danger. 468 00:21:00,993 --> 00:21:02,194 (DOOR OPENS) MAYOR: Michael? 469 00:21:02,329 --> 00:21:05,064 Hello. Walk out with me, would you, please? 470 00:21:07,434 --> 00:21:09,902 Oh, just one thing. 471 00:21:11,838 --> 00:21:13,506 Promise to tell me if we get married. 472 00:21:17,977 --> 00:21:19,546 Okay, sir, what can I do for you? Yeah. 473 00:21:19,646 --> 00:21:21,013 Anything I need to know? 474 00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:23,683 Uh, well, I've been back and forth with Sabatino all day. 475 00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:24,851 I mean, I don't think the guy realizes 476 00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:26,118 what we're offering. 477 00:21:26,218 --> 00:21:28,220 I'll give him another call. 478 00:21:28,355 --> 00:21:30,557 Mike, it's a strike. There's no quick fix here. 479 00:21:30,657 --> 00:21:32,124 Now, just let it rest. 480 00:21:32,224 --> 00:21:33,526 You know, the city's not going to fall apart 481 00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:35,628 because you take one night off. 482 00:21:35,728 --> 00:21:37,797 I mean, it probably will, 483 00:21:37,897 --> 00:21:39,131 but it will anyway. 484 00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:43,269 So, where are you off to? 485 00:21:43,370 --> 00:21:45,204 A fund-raiser. Um... 486 00:21:45,372 --> 00:21:47,440 Oh, yeah, Jewish Community Center, 487 00:21:47,540 --> 00:21:48,541 Rego Park. 488 00:21:50,076 --> 00:21:52,379 Well, shalom, sir. 489 00:21:52,479 --> 00:21:53,880 L'chayim, Mike. 490 00:21:53,980 --> 00:21:56,383 (SINGS HASIDIC SONG) 491 00:22:02,622 --> 00:22:04,991 Good night, Mr. Flaherty. Good night, Skippy. 492 00:22:08,395 --> 00:22:09,929 ASHLEY: So, where should we live? 493 00:22:10,029 --> 00:22:11,798 Chelsea? SoHo? 494 00:22:11,898 --> 00:22:13,099 Tribeca? 495 00:22:14,033 --> 00:22:15,468 What's wrong with this place? 496 00:22:17,404 --> 00:22:18,505 It's furnished. 497 00:22:18,605 --> 00:22:19,639 Rent's cheap. 498 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:23,142 Unbelievably short commute for me. 499 00:22:25,612 --> 00:22:28,014 Okay... let me just warn you. 500 00:22:28,114 --> 00:22:30,116 (CLEARS THROAT) Everything we do here is on record. 501 00:22:31,050 --> 00:22:32,419 Let's go to a hotel. 502 00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:35,154 What are you doing? 503 00:22:35,254 --> 00:22:36,789 Just checking my voicemail. 504 00:22:36,889 --> 00:22:37,890 (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS) 505 00:22:37,990 --> 00:22:39,426 Mike, look at your watch. 506 00:22:41,894 --> 00:22:43,963 Whoa, 11:05, what do you know? 507 00:22:45,031 --> 00:22:46,232 Workday's over. 508 00:22:48,234 --> 00:22:49,235 Honey. 509 00:22:54,641 --> 00:22:56,108 Fine, it worked for you. 510 00:22:57,444 --> 00:22:59,846 Yeah, well, it's working for you, too. 511 00:22:59,946 --> 00:23:01,247 (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS) 512 00:23:02,549 --> 00:23:04,517 (OVER SPEAKER) Hey, Mike, this is Paul. Listen. 513 00:23:04,617 --> 00:23:05,985 I'm at Houlihan's. 514 00:23:06,085 --> 00:23:08,254 Where the hell is everybody?